Recommended Reading:

 

1. Medium.Com

 

I regularly write on Medium about narcissism, emotional abuse, and recovery—drawing from both personal experience and the many questions people have asked me over time.

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My articles explore:

• What narcissistic abuse looks like in real life

• Why it’s so hard to leave or detach

• Trauma bonding, gaslighting, and manipulation

• The emotional aftermath and healing process

 

Many of these pieces are written in response to questions survivors ask themselves, often late at night, wondering “Is it really abuse?” or “Why do I still feel stuck?”

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You can read my work here:

 

https://medium.com/@decemberlee_34773

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From there, you’ll find additional articles that expand on related topics and lived experiences. You can also write about and share your own experiences on medium.com by signing up for a membership.

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Recommended Videos:

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Dr. Ramani Durvasula (YouTube)

 

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and one of the most widely respected voices on narcissism and narcissistic abuse. Her work has helped millions of survivors finally put language to what they experienced.

 

Her YouTube channel is especially helpful because:

• She explains narcissistic behavior clearly and directly, without minimizing harm

• She validates survivors’ experiences without shaming or blaming

• She breaks down complex psychological concepts in accessible language

• She addresses narcissism in romantic relationships, families, friendships, and the workplace

 

For many people, watching her videos is the first time they realize:

“This isn’t my fault—and I’m not imagining it.”

 

You can explore her channel here:

 

https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamani

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Recommended Books:

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1. The Narcissist You Know by Joseph Burgo, Ph.D.

A deeper look at the many faces of narcissism — not just the “classic” grandiose type — this book helps you identify narcissistic patterns in different personalities and relationships. It’s especially helpful for understanding how narcissism shows up in everyday life, not just extreme cases.

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2. Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

This book lays out clear, psychologically sound strategies for managing relationships with narcissists through empathy, boundaries, and communication. It’s practical and non-inflammatory, making it useful even in real-world interactions (family, workplace, co-parenting).

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3. Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie

A compassionate, step-by-step guide for survivors of narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships. It focuses on healing the self — not fixing the other — and offers real-world practices to recalibrate your sense of worth and inner peace.

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4. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Ph.D.

Not exclusively about narcissism, but invaluable for anyone who grew up with emotionally unavailable, self-centered, or dismissive caregivers. It helps readers understand the developmental impact and how to build healthier adult relationships.

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5. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

A trauma classic that explains how chronic stress and emotional abuse are literally stored in the nervous system. While not specific to narcissistic abuse, it’s essential for understanding why healing is not just psychological but also physiological.

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6. It’s Not You: … And It’s Not About You by Shahida Arabi

Written specifically for survivors of narcissistic abuse, this book dismantles self-blame and reframes the experience with clarity and validation. It’s direct, compassionate, and rooted in common survivor patterns.

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7. Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie

This book explores high-conflict relationships, trauma bonding, and recovery. Though not limited to narcissistic personality disorder, it’s highly relatable for survivors who feel stuck in cycles of attachment and confusion.

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8. Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist by Margalis Fjelstad

A classic for people who find themselves in caretaking roles with emotionally abusive or self-centered individuals. It teaches how to exit unhealthy dynamics and where to place empathy without self-sacrifice.

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9. Rethinking Narcissism by Craig Malkin, Ph.D.

This book presents narcissism on a spectrum and gives readers a more nuanced, evidence-based understanding of personality, self-regard, and relational patterns. Helpful for distinguishing between healthy confidence and pathological self-focus.

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10. Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Though the title is gendered, the insights apply broadly to abusive and controlling individuals. The book examines how perpetrators think, which helps survivors detach emotionally and see patterns without self-blame.